As I lie here feeling what seems like flutters, I begin to see what lies a head of me. The deepest love I've ever known. The strongest bond I've ever had. The biggest fear I've ever had. Love for I have something so precious growing inside of me. A bond that can't be overpowered by any one, thing or situation. Fear that I won't be good enough as a mother for you.
I know life won't be easy and we'll have our moments, but I'm willing and ready to put everything aside and make things work. For the next 5 months I have a lot of growing and maturing to do. It'll be a struggle as I hold on to so much pain, but I don't want you to feel that. I need to mature spiritually and mentally. I need to emotionally be in control. The words I use and the anger inside needs to be turned down. I plan to do it all before you arrive because I need a better life for myself and want an amazing life for you.
No one is going to hinder me in doing so. I will not allow anyone to hinder me raising you. Not myself, your nana, your dad or anyone else. I vow to turn my life around and make sure I set the perfect example. I have a past that haunts me, but before you get here i'll be in control of it.
I just want to give you as much love as I can while you're inside me growing and even after you arrive. We are a team and I'm ready to win.
Love you forever more,
Your Mommy ♥
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