My 22nd Birthday Gift

Dearest Love Nugget,

I can't believe that you're growing inside of me. It's still something I'm shocked about and it's probably going to take me sometime until your first ultrasound to believe it. About a week ago I found out, because I was 3 days late going on 4. I didn't think anything of it at first because your mommy has such a strange cycle, but I wasn't feeling quite peppy as usual. I immediately got scared, but then reassured myself things would be okay. From the queasy feeling, to the dizziness to headaches, I knew something was right. I told your nana (grandma -- my mom) on a Sunday night and the next day (Monday, June 17th) we took a test at her job and guess what...it came back positive. Admittingly, I was a little hurt and stunned, but at the end of it all I began to get happy. 

Why? Because I have a little life growing inside of me...my flesh and blood.

I've known all my life that at some point, I'd like to be a mother. Maybe not at 22, but knowing that you're growing has made that feeling even more apparent now. I can't say how excited I am and nervous at the same time. A lot is going through my head at this moment. I want to cry, laugh, jump and hop around the city. I feel blessed to have a family that is very supportive of me and you baking in the oven. I've told my mom and brother -- they're quite excited. I told my spiritual parents and even though there is slight disappointment in how things went about on my end, nonetheless, they are happy for me and you. My spiritual grandmother is beyond joyous. Even your godmother knows of you baking. As for your daddy, he's beyond joyous about you and your arrival. His first born, his baby, he's excited. He has already planned out a few things for you. I couldn't be more happier to have the support system that I do have. 

What I'm looking forward to is your health and growth. It's been a challenge for me as far as my weight goes because your mama is definitely a petite little thing, but I pray to God that you come out a healthy and happy baby.

The writing of this first letter is premature, I know, but I just have a lot of emotions dancing around in this crazy brain of mine and I had to put some of them down on paper -- or at least this blog. So if you're growing in there already or are just a little spark out there waiting for us to find you in time, just know how much you're already loved and adored. My heart is bursting with happiness at knowing that someday quite soon I get to be your mama.

Love,
Mommy