And It's Down To The Wire...

Dear Jellybean,

Yes I've been calling you jellybean lately because you remind of a jumping jellybean -- lol. Anywho, this isn't a real formal letter, it's more like a note. I just wanted to let you know that we made it through a full 7 months without complications and I'm truly blessed. I am grateful that the most issues we've had is back pain and nothing more. You're healthy, I'm healthy and we are doing just fine. I go for my 33 week appointment on Friday and my next sonogram is during week 36 so I'm excited to see how big you are and how much you weigh.

To think, just on my 22nd birthday I was blessed with such an amazing gift. I couldn't ask for anything more, but than your dad proposed to me a month later which made it all the more better. Yes, I was a bit nervous and started to treat your dad really mean, but I got over it and began to accept that my life is changing for the better.

You will be here in February -- any time after Feb 2nd (which is when I'm full term) is fine with me! I am quite excited for your arrival. There's not much more to say than I love you so much my little jellybean. Even as I type this up you're moving about and stretching those limbs.

XoX,
Your Excited Mommy

P.S. I did switch your name around :) It was Christian Jaiden at first, but since I love the name Jaiden so much and your nana and uncle decided that would call you Jaiden instead I opted to make your name Jaiden Christian which sounds more better according to your father.

Love you jellybean!

Weekly Update | Weeks 29-31

Hello my loves! This is my last 4 week update which I'm quite excited about honestly. Come January I go to the doctor every two weeks which is quite exciting. I also have my next sonogram during week 36! OMG, can't wait to see my jellybean on the screen. My doctor did prescribe me some new prenatals with iron in them plus extra iron to take so I'll be enjoying my vitamins for a long time.

I did get my blood work and glucouse tests back. Glucouse was negative, HIV was negative (duh!) and my iron count was low. Started at 38 pre-preg and now I'm at a 32.8 which I figured from the start. My iron fluctuates a lot strangely. 

Other than that, everything else is pretty great!

How far along? 31 weeks!

Total weight gain? I've gained 24.5 lbs total.

Size and growth of baby? He should be about 3.5lbs now and the size of a coconut.

Gender? He is all boy!

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I definitely should be. Just refuse to purchase any...I only have two months to go anyway.

Sleep? Ummm, yeah if I'm not paying this lil boy no mind or having back aches which is rarely. The lifestyle of a mommy lol. 

Best moments? Feeling every movement, planning with my mother and just being able to relax here and there when he's not moving as much.

Movement? They are a lot more frequent now. The slighest twitch, roll or turn and I feel it all. Mostly on my sides, lower abdomen and when he's pushing at my bladder (painful).

Food cravings? Fried chicken, french fries, frozen fruits, ice cream, french vanilla cappuccino and sleepy time/chamomile tea.

Food aversions? Macaroni salad.

Morning sickness? Nope. None so far in my pregnancy!

Symptoms? Dull back pain on upper back, PGP (pelvic girdle pain), constipation, belly button pain, sore throat, sore muscles, slight fever, horrible cough, hard time breathing at night.

Labor signs? Nope

Belly button? Out and stretched

Wedding ring? Fits perfectly with ring guard of course.

Happy or moody? More happy lately.  

What I miss? Sleeping on my belly, eating whenever I wanted and tank tops fitting.

What I'm looking forward to? My grandma visiting and celebrating Christmas with my mom and siblings.

Overall, I've been enjoying the last trimester of my pregnancy even though it is kicking my ass. I still have yet to do the second hospital tour -- must do in January for sure and I also got my flu shot done this month as well.

That's all for now! 

Weekly Update | Weeks 26-28

Wow, I've been slacking on this blog as I have been busy with my beauty blog, vlog channel, beauty channel and other personal endeavours. However, I am back! I want to do my 26th to 29th week update. Yes, it's been a long while so I'm here to keep you all updated on my pregnancy with my little jellybean and then some other updates in posts coming this week!

Here's my latest belly shot from week 27:

On to the questions and update:

How far along? 29 weeks!

Total weight gain? I've gained 21 lbs from my last checkup which was during my 27th week. Next check up is during my 31st week.

Size and growth of baby? He weighs about 2.5lbs and is the size of a butternut squash

Gender? He is all boy!

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I definitely should be. Just refuse to purchase any...I only have two months to go anyway.

Sleep? Still got a screwed sleeping schedule. I'm up all night with him and then sleeping all day. I need to try and change these habits before I hit 35 weeks.

Lopsided belly.

Best moments? Feeling him kick has to be the best part! But also, when I went to buy him two pieces with my fiance after out dinner date. Also when my jellybean curls up into a ball on my lower leftside and stretches his body on my right side an inch away from my belly button. His punches and kicks as well because seeing them freaks me out, but makes me excited all at once. He also even let his dad feel him kick for the first time as well.

First time he felt his son kick.

Movement? ALL THE TIME! Lol, I don't think my son sleeps -- which is partly my fault as I poke at my belly when he is sleep and I'm not the kind of person to sleep any way. Lol.

Food cravings? Sweet potatoe pie, strawberry cake, gummy candy, french vanilla cappuccinos, iced honey buns, grapes, pineapples, shrimp, crabs, baked macaroni and ice cream.

Food aversions? I don't eat macaroni salad like I use to and it's been like that since I got pregnant. I'll eat it here and there, but not as often which sucks.

Morning sickness? Nope. None so far in my pregnancy!

The two pieces we got him. I love both of them. Purchased at Carter's.

Symptoms? From week 26th til now: Constipation, diareha, back pain, PGP (pelvic girdle pain), short breathed, feet swelling/ numbing, itchy belly, dry legs, sore nipples, ithcy boobs, extra discharge, slight breakouts, insomnia, frequent urination and sore belly button.

Labor signs? Nope

Belly button? Out and stretched

Wedding ring? Fits perfectly with ring guard of course.

Happy or moody? A bit of both. Sometimes I'm up, other times I'm down.  

24 weeks anda 5 days.

What I miss? Being able to fit my clothes comfortably and sleeping on my belly.

What I'm looking forward to? Baby shower, baby shopping, 2nd hospital tour and my next prenatal appointment.

Now as far as what's been going on with me and little one...he has been super active and the third trimester has been hitting me harder than ever. I mean I sleep all day and I'm up all night. It's bad -- I need to change my habits. I did do my hospital tour, but since my doctor's have three hospitals and two which they have maternity in, I'm opting for the second one. The first tour was not what I wanted. Hospital tour to is going to happen this month, so I'll have a hopsital tour post coming soon after!

Well that's all my loves. I'll try to keep you updated bi-weekly or weekly.

He has the cutest little pouty face ever -- omg!!!

Stay blessed!

Wedding Update #1

Here is the first update of many to come! I wasn't going to start this until Fall 2014, but being as that my wedding is moved up a whole year I figured I'd start now. My wedding was originally set for May 28th, 2016, but it's been moved to May 2015. Still on a Saturday though. I have most of the basics set for my wedding.

Date: May 30th, 2015

Colors: Tiffany Blue & Mint Green

Accent Colors: Gold, Silver & White

Theme: Love In Full Bloom...still debating if I want a theme.

Location: New York City, venues not picked yet.

Time: Late Afternoon into evening.

Bridal Party: A total of 23 so far ... once I find a flower girl it will be a total of 24 people -- not including parents and grandparents.

I already have our honeymoon location set as well which I'm excited for, but I am nervous because it will be my first time on a plane.

I have picked out my wedding dress via online, but I'll go see it in person in May and do some dress fittings. I mean it's the perfect dress from David's Bridal that is already made for petite women. I also found it in the perfect color --- IVORY with hints of champagne and gold!

Yes, I want a ivory or cream dress. No white! Why? 1) I don't want white. It's so expected. 2) Get's dirty easily. Truth be told, wedding dresses use to be ivory or cream back in the old days...way before the 1700's (learned this when I was taking up fashion merchandising and retail marketing).

Well that's it for now...

No more to really chat about for now. Once my little jellybean is born I'll have more to update you all on.

Ciao!

Weekly Update | 25 Weeks

Great week it's been! I found out everything is great with my little man and he weighs a good amount. I'm too excited to see his little face and start shopping for him. Loving my son so much! I don't have any belly shots for this week, but I do have a few sonogram images to share with you all.

His nose bone is there and the echogenic focus is no longer on his heart! I am beyond grateful for everything being great for him. He has 3 more months in the oven before his debut.

How far along? 25 weeks!

Total weight gain? 13.5lbs since last appointment.

Size and growth of baby? I did get my baby's weight on Friday. He was 1lb and 7oz, so he may have gained a few since.

Gender? Boy!

Maternity clothes? No, just wearing clothes either a size or two bigger than usual.

Sleep? Insomina. He likes to play more so when I want to sleep.

Best moments? Finding my baby's okay and his weight.

Movement? Soooo much movement...from kicks to punches to turns. This baby is a gymnast for sure.

Food cravings? Sweet and sugary candy. Ice cream.

Food aversions? None.

Morning sickness? None.

Symptoms? Insomnia. Groin pain on the right. Achy feet. Toothache (needed a root canal, but I waited to long and now have to get an extraction). Constipation. Frequent urination since he kicks me in the bladder. Get hot quickly when going to bed.

Labor signs? None.

Belly button? Out, wide and getting darker than ever due to my linea negra.

Wedding ring? Engagement ring still fits perfectly with the guard on it.

Happy or moody? Shockingly, I've been pretty happy this week!

What I miss? Nothing.

What I'm looking forward to? Prenatal appointment, baby shopping and sleeping!

Here is the cutest shot of my son making a pouty face. His lips are closed and mouth is tucked towards his chest. So freaking cute and reminds me of myself when I use to make those faces . . . I probably still do to this day.

Overall this week has been perfect! Well, minus the toothaches, but I get my extraction on Monday, so hopefully I'll be great after that. Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday are soon approaching . . . excited to baby shop!

Have a blessed day!

Weekly Update | 24 Weeks

Six months pregnant and I'm a complete emotional wreck. Three months left before my little one is here and I'm more than excited to hold my baby and go back to being little ol' me. Lol. I didn't take any pictures as I have been in my house all week trying to keep warm.

How far along? 24 weeks!

Total weight gain? 13.5lbs since last appointment.

Size and growth of baby? Baby is about 1 and 1/3 lbs and almost a foot long.

Gender? They think it's a boy.

Maternity clothes? No, just wearing clothes either a size or two bigger than usual.

Sleep? Insomina. As the months get closer I feel more movement which means less sleep at night and frequent long naps during the day. I even woke up in the middle of the night from the baby's movement and got real hungry around 1:30am. This baby is my new boss. Lol.

Best moments? Feeling all of my baby's movements.

Movement? Soooo much movement...from kicks to punches to turns. This baby is a gymnast for sure.

Food cravings? Sweet and sugary candy. Ice cream.

Food aversions? None.

Morning sickness? None.

Symptoms? Groin pain, back pain, round ligament pain, light headed, itchy boobs, dry breasts, nasal congestion and slight nose bleed.

Labor signs? None.

Belly button? Out, wide and getting darker than ever due to my linea negra.

Wedding ring? Engagement ring still fits perfectly with the guard on it.

Happy or moody? A queen b! I've been feeling down and a bit depressed. Just feel like a burden to my fiance and my mother. Even though I know I'm not I just feel this way. I feel helpless and powerless. Part of me wishes this pregnancy was planned because I would feel secure, but it wasn't planned. I do however shed a few tears, smile and laugh when my baby kicks me. Reminds me of the love I have growing inside of me despite all the craziness going on in my life.

What I miss? Being the plain old me lol. Being able to do things for myself.

What I'm looking forward to? Ultrasound on Friday to ensure baby is healthy and to recheck the gender.

This week has not been much of anything. Mostly just trying to keep my emotions intact is all. Next update I should have a picture and some information for you all as well.

Stay blessed!

Weekly Update | 23 Weeks!

Can't believe I'll be in my 6th month by the end of next week -- it's so surreal! I have yet to do any real baby shopping as I want to confirm my baby's gender on Nov 8th. Ready for my baby emotionally!

Loved my outfit that day! Just realized I can still be fashionably stylish and pregnant. I'm starting to feel so amazing!!!

How far along? 23 weeks!

Total weight gain? 13.5 lbs

Size & growth of baby? About the size of a pomegranate. 

Gender? Boy -- still waiting for second ultrasound for confirmation.

Maternity clothes? Nope, but I should be since all my clothes are tight. Going the budget savvy route -- buying my clothes 1 or 2 sizes bigger!

Sleep? I so hate insomnia. That's all I can say about sleep. Lol.

Best Moments? Getting my test results from genetic counselors. Baby has normal chromosomes! I feel so at peace.

Movement? Oh boy, am I! He kicks a lot more now throughout the day. Especially after a quick snack or good meal. He loves to stretch his little body.

Food cravings? Lay's Barbecue chips, White Chocolate Macadamia Nut cookies, ice cream

Food aversions? Nope, not that I can think of.

Morning sickness? None still so far! I feel lucky.

Symptoms? None this week actually. I do, however, get back pain if I'm either sitting up straight or standing for too long.

Labor Signs? No, thankfully! Trying to make it to 9 months with no labor signs, unless Braxton Hicks contractions count -- lol

Belly Button? Out and still getting darker -- ewwww

Wedding/Engagement Ring? Can still wear it with my skinny little fingers.

Happy or Moody? Surprisingly, I've been pretty happy with things. I guess it's because of me reading my Bible consistently every morning along with my Joyce Myers reading and I Declare by Joel Osteen. Trying to keep myself as spirtiually grounded as possible -- even though I still have a few kinks and flaws to work out, I'm getting there and it's making me a bit happier with myself, my life, my future and all that's going on.

What I miss? Summer weather!

What I'm looking forward to? Reconfirming my baby's gender and baby shopping!

Seriously, I can't believe these months are flying by for me. Starting to enjoy my pregnancy. Just can't wait for the day of new life and the perfect addition to a new start.

Have a blessed day!

Weekly Update | 22nd Week

Wow -- can't believe I'm almost 6 months pregnant. This has definitely gone by fast. So far I have no regrets, I just could be a bit more happier about this growing belly. Not much happened for this week, so there is not much to tell. I still have no pictures for my 20th to 22nd week of pregnancy so hopefully I can get back in to taking those pictures this week.

How far along? 22 weeks and 1 day.

Total weight gain? 12 lbs, but I get my weigh in on Friday at my prenatal appointment.

Size and growth of baby? About the size of a papaya or spaghetti squash at about 11inches and weighing close to 1lb.

Gender? Boy, but doing a second ultrasound to confirm.

Maternity clothes? No, but I should be wearing them. I just find maternity wear to be highly expensive for no apparent reason. I just buy my clothes either 1 or 2 sizes up.

Sleep? Sleep has been better as I am use to his movements, but I do get back pains from time to time so it does make sleeping a bit complicated. I do have four pillows (two I lay my head on, two for my feet) and two teddy bears (one on each side for my back) so it makes sleeping easy. I do need to buy a body pillow though for sure before I hit 7 months!

Best moments? Cleaning my room up and organizing my clothes and products. I feel the closer I get to having my baby shower and the close I get to him being here that I need to really start cleaning up more and getting use to organizing at least 3 times a week. A baby is not going to be easy, but I know I'll do great!

Movement? After I eat he is wide awake and kicking. Between 8am and 10am he kicks around, I'm guessing morning stretches. From midnight to 2am he's up playing tag with me. He also lays in weird positions which makes my stomach look extremely deformed and it feels weird, but knowing that he's in there just makes it so special and makes me smile every time.

Food cravings? Lay's Barbecue chips which I normally hate, Vanilla ice cream, Butter Pecan ice cream, gummy bears, gummy life savers and Sour Power Straws.

Food aversions? Snickers ice cream bars -- but that's more so due to me needing a root canal and extraction.

Morning sickness? Nope!

Symptoms? Fatigue, back pains at night, dry boobs and my feet tend to hurt after standing or walking for about 3 to 5 hours straight.

Labor signs? None thankfully. Hope I have none until after Feb 2nd as that's when I hit full term!

Belly button? Out and it has darkened due to my linea negra darkening.

Wedding ring? On, still doesn't fit fully without a ring guarder on.

Happy or moody? I was pretty content for my 22nd week, just was moody due to USPS not delivering my mail in about a month.

What I miss? Taking maternity shots. I haven't taken a belly shot for about 2 weeks, so hopefully I can snap one today for the 22nd week and one this week for the 23rd week. I miss fitting into my cute tops, dresses and jeans. I miss wearing my stiletto pumps and wearing cute jammies to bed. Everything I wear now is either too tight, too shot 

What I'm looking forward to? My genetics test results on my little one and my doctor appointment for this week. Also the hospital tour. I plan to go in about 2 weeks or so, before I hit 7 months probably so I can finish filling out my registration form.

Last week I decided to start doing my waist and hips to see my progress. My waist is now at 30 inches. Pre-pregnancy it was 24 inches, so I've gained 6 inches in my waist. For my hips they've gone up 2 inches. Pre-pregnancy they were at 34 inches and now they are at 36 inches.

That's about it for my 22nd week !

Weekly Update | 18-21 weeks

I haven't done one of these updates in a while on my blog simply because I forgot that I even had this blog and my energy is off the wavelengths. Also I've been dealing with a few things these past few weeks as well which I'll get into towards the end of the update. I've also included images of my pregnancy from my 18th and 19th week as I have to still edit my pictures from my 20th and 21st week. Will include those in a separate post.

How far along? 21 weeks and 4 days. Can't believe it's been 5 months!!!

Total weight gain? 12lbs since pre-pregnancy.

Size and growth of baby? Baby is about the size of a banana or carrot.

Gender? Supposedly a boy lol, but will reconfirm at next ultrasound.

Maternity clothes? No, but I should be at this point! I buy all my clothing in a size or two bigger now.

Sleep? Sleep has been good. Still need to change my pattern, but baby gets really active at about midnight to about 3am. In all sleep has been interesting.

Best moments? Feeling constant movement every single day from my little one. It's amazing to feel how active they are in the womb.

Movement? A ton! I have more of a night owl so he'll move more so after midnight, but during the day he makes sure that I'm aware of existence by kicking and punching a few rounds. We even play tag sometimes, lol.

Food cravings? Since the 18th week, ice cream, sour power straws in green apple, rice krispies, dill pickles in packet or glass, shrimp and mash potatoes.

Food aversions? None. They have all subsided thankfully!

Morning sickness? Nope...none so far in my 5 months of pregnancy.

Symptoms? Since the 18th week...back pain, nasal congestion, lower adominal pain, dehydration, cramping, dry hands and constipation. I have had groin pain, but that may be due to the yoga I'm doing.

Labor signs? None.

Belly button? Out completely and really dark.

Wedding ring? On, it never fit correctly as my fingers are small.

Happy or moody? Both! One minute I'm great, excited and on top of the world. The next, crying, sad and over it. My emotions have skyrocketed and I tend to have a comeback for everything and get defensive really quick.

What I miss? Wearing my shirts, skirts and dresses. I need to find some clothing flattering for my petite body. I miss lying on stomach too as it relaxes me. Working as a freelance makeup artist.

What I'm looking forward to? Looking forward to more shopping for dresses and tops. My baby shower and bsby shopping. My hospital tour and seeing my little one.

Now, these past few weeks have been crazy for me as I had my anatomy scan on Sept 30th. When I was there they found two markers for down syndrome -- small nasal bone and echogenic foci on the heart. Now, I'm not too concerned as my family has small noses and the bright spot on heart is common during the ultrasound, but then again I am. I have been freaking out like crazy and trying to stay calm and collective. Yesterday I meet with a genetics counselor and opted not to do amino for personal reasons. I decided to just do the noninvasive prenatal blood test. I should have those results by next week Friday, so I'll do a more in depth post later on, but today I just wanted to do a quick update.

Overall, I'm healthy and little one is measuring on time. I've been gaining 4lbs a month. My only issue is that I'm dehydrated, so that means I need to drink tons of water. Pray for me! Lol.

Hope you all have a blessed week!

Weekly Update | 17 Weeks

Good morning everyone!

I haven't done a weekly update since my 7 week update in early September, but not much has happened since then.

I don't have a belly shot for this week as I took one when I was 16 weeks pregnant, not much of a difference. So I'll take one every 2 weeks instead of weekly.

How far along? 17 weeks! 

Total weight gain? In total I've gained 8.5 lbs which is right on point. I gain about 2-3lbs every 4 weeks which is good since my doctor wants me to gain at least 4lbs a month.

Size and growth of baby? Baby is about the size of an onion.

Gender? Find out in 2 weeks!! Praying for a baby girl.

Maternity clothes? Should be wearing them, but I don't. I try to stick to leggings, button ups and loose tops.

Sleep? Has been getting a bit better. I sleep before 2am and wake up by 9am now.

Best moments? My doctors appointment last Friday. Everything measured pretty well, I heard my baby's heartbeat aagin which was 157 to 158 bpm, heard the baby kick and my belly measured on point.

Movement? Sometimes it'll be slight movement as if baby is moving from my left side to right, but no kicks as of yet.

Food cravings? Pickles, ice cream, strawberry milk, fruits and shrimp.

Food aversions? None this week.

Morning sickness? Nope!

Symptoms? Headaches, mild cramping, dry skin, mild breakouts on face and horrible nasal congestion.

Labor signs? None

Stretch marks? Nope, been using my Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion for stretch marks.

Belly button? Starting to poke out a bit more and stretch.

Wedding ring? On, still can fit them both.

Happy or moody? Moody all the way. One minute I'm happy, the next upset, then I want to cry. My emotions have been a rollercoaster. I rather be alone then around others including my fiance.

What I miss? Only thing I miss is summer.

What I'm looking forward to? My ultrasound to see what I'm having and baby shopping of course 

Quite excited for my anatomy ultrasound. Simply can't wait to see what I'm having so I can start shopping.

Something I also wanted to start doing is giving myself a weekly and/or monthly goal just to keep me active, aware and happy.

Weekly Goal(s):

1. Yoga at least twice for a minimum of 15 mins.

2. Drink at least 4 bottles of water.

Monthly Goal(s):

1. Drink more water.

2. Take more pictures of myself and belly.

3. Be more happy and friendly.

As for my goals during my 16 week updateThanks for checking out my 17 week update.

Stay blessed!

Weekly Update | 16 Weeks

Good morning everyone!

I haven't done a weekly update since my 7 week update in early September, but not much has happened since then.

Above is my belly shot for only 16 weeks... I look like I'm about 5 months, so my belly is going to be big by the end of this pregnancy.

How far along? 16 weeks and 1 day..Already three weeks into my second tri!

Total weight gain? About 6.5lbs since I found out I was pregnant.

Size and growth of baby? Baby is about the size of an avocado.

Gender? Find out in 3 weeks!! Praying for a baby girl.

Maternity clothes? Should be wearing them, but I don't. I try to stick to leggings, button ups and loose tops.

Sleep? During the day I can sleep for houra if I'm bored, but at night I can't seem to fall asleep until the hours of 2 to 4am. I need to fix that!

Best moments? Since my 7 week update...there really hasn't been any. I've been down in the dumps for a while.

Movement? Sometimes it'll be slight movement as if baby is moving from my left side to right, but no kicks as of yet.

Food cravings? Seafood, French fries, ice cream, milkshakes, smoothies.

Food aversions? Macaroni salad, tuna fish, grilled burgers & franks.

Morning sickness? Nope, just get nauseous if I don't eat right away after taking my prenatal vitamins.

Symptoms? Back pains along the sides of my spine, headaches, mild cramping, dry skin, itchy belly, mild breakouts on face and nasal congestion.

Labor signs? None

Stretch marks? Nope, been using my Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion for stretch marks.

Belly button? Starting to poke out a bit more and stretch.

Wedding ring? On, still can fit them both.

Happy or moody? Moody all the way. One minute I'm happy, the next upset, then I want to cry. My emotions have been a rollercoaster. I rather be alone then around others including my fiance.

What I miss? Wow...summer!!! I didn't do all that I planned due to being pregnant. No clubbing, drinking, partying, beaches, pools or even work. Wish I could have found a job.

What I'm looking forward to? My ultrasound to see what I'm having, baby shopping and doctor appointment. 

Quite excited for my anatomy ultrasound. Simply can't wait to see what I'm having so I can start shopping.

Something I also wanted to start doing is giving myself a weekly and/or monthly goal just to keep me active, aware and happy.

Weekly Goal(s):
1. Take a walk everyday.
2. Do yoga at least twice for a minimum of 15 mins.
3. Drink at least 3 bottles of water.
4. Spend time bonding.

Monthly Goal(s):
1. Drink more water.
2. Take more pictures of myself and belly.
3. Be more happy and friendly.

Thanks for checking out my 16 week update.

Stay blessed!

Late Night Note #1

As I lie here feeling what seems like flutters, I begin to see what lies a head of me. The deepest love I've ever known. The strongest bond I've ever had. The biggest fear I've ever had. Love for I have something so precious growing inside of me. A bond that can't be overpowered by any one, thing or situation. Fear that I won't be good enough as a mother for you.

I know life won't be easy and we'll have our moments, but I'm willing and ready to put everything aside and make things work. For the next 5 months I have a lot of growing and maturing to do. It'll be a struggle as I hold on to so much pain, but I don't want you to feel that. I need to mature spiritually and mentally. I need to emotionally be in control. The words I use and the anger inside needs to be turned down. I plan to do it all before you arrive because I need a better life for myself and want an amazing life for you.

No one is going to hinder me in doing so. I will not allow anyone to hinder me raising you. Not myself, your nana, your dad or anyone else. I vow to turn my life around and make sure I set the perfect example. I have a past that haunts me, but before you get here i'll be in control of it.

I just want to give you as much love as I can while you're inside me growing and even after you arrive. We are a team and I'm ready to win.

Love you forever more,
Your Mommy ♥

Weekly Update | 7 Weeks

Week 6 has been crazy beyond words can express! My attitude and patience has been extremely thin and I've just been ready to lash on any and everybody. Nonetheless, I was healthy and everything was well according to my first sonogram on July 5th. 

How far along? 7 weeks and 2 days, but apprently when I went for my sono last Friday I was only 6 weeks  and 1 day, so I would be 6 weeks and 5 days -- going to clarify with my doctor even though my due date is still Feb 23rd.

Total weight gain: Not sure, but last weight check was 82lbs. I'll check in another week or so at my next appointment.

Size and growth of the baby: The size of a blueberry!

Gender: Too early to tell.

Maternity clothes: None yet, but I do have to wear larger shirts that are more flowly and loose.

Sleep: Sleep has been great! Only thing is that this baby has me sleeping all day, but up all night long.

Best moment(s) of the week: Got my babies first picture taken when I went for my sonogram. My next sonogram is August 19th. I also purchased a baby book for the first five years from Babysakes which I love. I wanted a pink one, but because I'm not sure if I'm having a girl or boy I got a neutral kind of pastel book instead. My boyfriend also asked me to marry him, so now we're engaged.

Movement: None.

Food cravings/aversions: I've been having major food aversions. No cravings as much lately. 

Morning sickness: None, just slight dizziness if I get off my bad too fast. 

Symptoms: Fatigue, constipation, sore & hard breasts, back pains, nausea, food averions and hair growing extremely fast on my body *yikes*.

Labor Signs: Way too early!

Belly button in/out: The same, I've always had an outtie.

Wedding ring on or off: I'm engaged now, so my ring is on.

Mood: Highly moody and get extremely aggrevated and annoyed with everyone quickly.

What I miss: Cute fitted tops, being able to blog and make videos without getting too tired, traveling to do shoots and makeovers and just smiling all the time. This pregnancy has really put a huge dent in my relationship with my boyfriend emotionally and physically. I miss just being able to go and enjoy my life without being too concerned about what I'm doing. 

What I'm looking forward to: Receiving my baby's first book this week hopefully (or at least by next Monday) and my first prenatal appointment July 19th. 

Overall week 6 was great and week 7 seems to be going okay so far.

Here's baby's first picture!

Have a blessed day everyone.

Maternal Family...

Hi love nugget!

Hope you're having a ball inside me. Just wanted to write this quick letter to you because I constantly find myself shedding tears over this. I'm not sure if you'll ever meet my half of your family and it hurts so much. As much as I would love you to, they are just too much. I wish the good outweighed the bad, but it never does. My family just doesn't know how to get over their egos and issues and simply love through differences.  I wish they did. All I want for you is to know that even if you never ever meet them, I love you and we'll get through it together. Hopefully one day I can have you meet them, but who knows. I'll just pray to God that someday things will be much better and you can at least one of your aunts and a cousin or two from my side of the family tree.

Anywho, I love you my little jelly bean and can't wait to see you during the sonogram tomorrow.

Love,

Mommy

Weekly Update | 6 Weeks

6 weeks & 2 days.

I swear I look like I'm farther along then I am. I maybe 10 weeks or I maybe 6 weeks. As of now, I believe I'm 6 weeks along, but sheesh being petite and underweight makes me look months pregnant -- lol.

How far along? 6 weeks and 1 day.

Total weight gain: When I went to the doctor last week they said 82lbs. I've gained 2.5lbs so far.

Size and growth of the baby: The size of a pea. I get actual measurements when I get the sonogram done this Friday!

Gender: Too early to tell.

Maternity clothes: None yet, but the way my belly looks, I swear I need bigger shirts and tons of maxi dresses.

Sleep: Sleep has been great!

Best moment(s) of the week: This past week I meet with the prenatal nurse

Movement: None yet, just slight cramping here and there.

Food cravings/aversions: Still craving seafood badly, but now I'm craving hot wings too!

Morning sickness: Not much, I just eat a few crackers and drink water when I feel the queasy feeling coming along. 

Symptoms: Sore breast, tender & itchy nipples, frequent need to pee and fatigue. Recently just started getting back pains as well.

Labor Signs: Way too early!

Belly button in/out: The same, I've always had an outtie.

Mood: My mood has been crazy. Been really emotionally lately and my attitude has been through the roof.

What I miss: Small crop tops, comfortable bras and being able to freelance as a makeup artist. I miss being able to sleep at night without having to pee so many times as well ... lol!

What I'm looking forward to: My sonogram appointment on Friday. Really want to know if I am really 6 weeks or if I'm 10 weeks. Looking forward to getting my energy back up and also doing a bit more walking around outside (hopefully). 

Overall, looking forward to this week!

Stay blessed!